As I set here I am taken back to the day when I first dreamed of spending Passover as a Jew. I would always say, maybe next year….well, next year has come for me. I will spend my very first Passover as a Jew this year. I am filled with all types of emotions and fears.
I don’t think there is a greater feeling than knowing you have come home. Not like any home I’ve ever known before. I will be a part of a people, a nation of Hashem. Erev Pesach will mean something different to me. When I sit at the Seder and recount the Exodus story, it will not be as a spectator but as a participant. My 4 cups of wine, my matzah, maror, and all the songs will be done as a Jew. Hallel HaGadol will fill my soul. The beautiful Nishmas prayer which follows the Song at the Sea in the morning prayers on Sabbath will mean more to me than ever before. This year I will recount the details of the Exodus knowing I was there……
You may not understand the joy I’m filled with now but someday, someday you may. Someday you will come understand that I’ve come HOME!
Well, we are at the end of our road…..we have our mikvah date. 10 days from today we will be Jews! Wow, it is almost unreal to even say that after so many years of studying, yawning, and praying. We made it and it has all been worth all the heartache and tears. Hours of studying, memorizing, and droughts. I am so thankful to Hashem for having the love that He has for me.
No one can take this away from me, no one can ever make me dought what I’m doing and the truth of it all. (Ha emet)
I still have days that are filled with questions about this or that but my emuna is strong. I know I am doing what I was created to do in life and I will continue to learn and grow in this new life.
I was asked by a friends, “what was the hardest part of this joinery”? I would have to say, learning Hebrew. It took all my time. Second would be learning all the new concepts and understanding that are within Judaism. It is not like Christian worship at all. There is a lot of emotion in Christian worship. Judaism is about learning, living, and understand what and who Hashem is and what He wants you to do with your life.
If I had to pick what was most meaningful and important for me in this joinery, it would be learning and understanding Maimondies’ Principles. Those 13 principles are life. They are the fundamentals of Jewish faith. To know and accept all that they contain. Believing in one G-d. This belief is with perfect faith. You can never really understand this just by studying on your own. Knowing that He is the Creator and Ruler of all things. He, alone, make all things. He is One and there. Is no unity that is in any way like His. He is without a body. Physical concepts do not apply to Him. He is first and last. All the words of our prophets are true. The prophecy of Moses is absolutely true. The Torah was given to Moses and it is what we have today. It will NEVER be changed. G-d knows ever deed of man and his thoughts. That He rewards those who keep His commands, and punishes those who transgress them. I believe with perfect faith the coming of the Messiah. I believe with perfect faith that the dead will be brought back to life when G-d wills it to happen.
This is what I have come to know and have faith in. There is no other. In just 10 days, I will be connect to my family in a way I’ve never known before. My soul will be free to fly.
So as it turns out my husband and I found out about 15 months ago and we will PCS to (drumroll please), Germany! We were so excited but we did not have pinpoint information as to where in Germany we would be going. My husband got his official orders and we now know that we will be going to Kaiserslautern.
So, now for the fun of organizing, scheduling the movers, shipping the car, booking our flight and saying good bye to friends and family. This is our first overseas dusty station. We need any information we can get to help with it all.