We have been married for 11 years. Together for 12. I’m often asked by newly married couples, “How do you keep the magic alive?” My response: “What magic?” *laughter*
I don’t think marriage is about magic, feelings, or even attractiveness. Although those things have a place, they are not the end-all-be-all of marriage. Marriage is work and lots of it. There are many good days, but there are also many difficult days and days when you feel like you just can’t take another minute. But days like that should become less and less as times goes on in your marriage.
I share often with younger couples how my mother-in-law told me to take out a sheet of paper and write down the 19 worst things my husband could do to me that would cause me to leave him. I said, “Why?” to which she replied, “That is not important right now. Just do it”. So I did. My list was filled with things like cheating, looking at other women, and even ignoring me for days on end. My mother-in-law then said, “All that you wrote, you must forgive”. My mind was blown, but I promised to do just that. My husband used up most of the list within the first year. She told me once the list was done I had to make a new one. I’ve been keeping to this system all these years.
I think once you remove divorce out of the equation of your marriage, you have a chance for success. This by no means remove the pain and heartache you will feel. It only allows you to have the ability to work things out without the option of walking out.
We celebrated our anniversary in Brussels, Belgium. If the military had not stationed us over here in Europe, there is no way we could have done that. It was an amazing trip, and we truly enjoyed ourselves. We sit back and think of how blessed we are each day to be living overseas. How wonderful it is to know we can see all of Europe while we are here!
Here are a few of the pictures from our trip. Share with me how long you’ve been married and what has helped you in your marriage.