This might only be understood by those who left Christianity. In the morning, I had a routine of worship. I would wake and turn on some worshipful music and pray. As a Jew, I pray, albeit different, and often with less joy. (Truth can be hard to admit).
Over the pass few years I’ve tried to find Jewish music that had the worshipful connections to it. I found maybe one or two songs that I really connect with. It is not to say that there aren’t songs within the Jewish genre, it is just that I have not found them.
When ever I try to find something familiar, I often stop myself from singing it because it contains verses that I no longer hold to be true. We are in the mist of our PCS move out and the house is pretty empty house and quite. There are no chairs to sit on or tables to work from. I find reading hard because I am always laying on the floor, which is super hard, or I am standing and holding the book. I can;t really study like I would would like right now. Music seems to be my only true outlet and I don’t have it to calm my soul.
I often feel my mind is going a hundred miles an hour and there are no breaks to slow me down. I’ve been thinking about spending my days at the book store. At least there I would have a chair, a table, and some good coffee…..hahaha
We are living out of our suitcases. Some have asked why did we ship our HHG so soon, well, I figured we could be comfortable here or there. I wanted to ship them so that we will not have to wait months once we are there to get back to “normal” life, what ever “normal” is for an Armywife.